Operation: Sexy Lent

The divorce rate in America currently hovers between 45-50% (depending on your source); an alarming statistic on many levels.  More disturbing, however, is that according to a recent study by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers – 1 out of 5 couples cite Facebook as a contributing factor in the demise of their marriage.

Facebook?  Really?  OK – we need an intervention. . .or a revolution.

Forgive my candor, but using Facebook as a scapegoat in a divorce proceeding is asinine.  I understand that provocative photos and inappropriate conversations “accidentally” found on the social network is a lawyers dream – but if your marriage crashes every time you log in, your matrimonial wound runs deeper than a status update.

For those whose hearts are a’twitter because of an e-connection with an old flame, listen up:   Johnny or Jane Perfect from high school is a figment of your imagination.  That person will never live up to the underweight stud that you remember from “the good old days”.  First, no one ever posts ugly pictures of themselves and second, everyone (yes, everyone) lies on their profile.  (Who would publicly admit that they loathe children and have a Vicodin addition?)  Yep, this enticement splayed across your screen is a glorified e-version of a painfully average person and they are certainly not worth the train-wreck that is divorce.
Allow me to quickly clarify – I am a child of a divorce that was overdue.  I am in no way trivializing or judging those who find themselves at divorce’s heartbreaking crossroad.  Sadly, many marriages are irreparable. That said – an obvious emotional, physical and/or sexual void is creeping into our marriages if Facebook is becoming a “1 in 5” problem.

So. . .I have a nutty idea:  let’s launch a collective revolution to save some of these marriages by taking up sex for Lent.

If I made you spill your coffee, I apologize, but (even if you’re not a Christian or have never observed Lent) stay with me.

 

Sex is God’s way of connecting two people on a carnal level. As a sheath is to a sword, so is a wife to her husband.  Sex is hot; it is our most primal and precious way to connect to our mate.  If a “reconnection with an old flame” is at the root of this statistic – a reconnection with our spouses is overdue.  So, regardless of your religiosity — why not exercise the fundamentals of Lent to intensify your union?

For those unfamiliar, Lent is a period time on the Liturgical (or Church’s) calendar spanning from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday.  During this time, many Christians worldwide take part in a communal fast.  Much like the details within religious doctrine itself, how one takes part in this tradition differs wildly from individual to church community.  The roots, however, are the same:  it is a time of year inspired by the 40 days that Jesus spent in the desert prior to his crucifixion.  Time He spent fasting and (resisting) temptation.

Temptation. . . what a sexy word.

A priest somewhere along my church-y path once said that Lent is not only a time of resisting temptation or “giving up”, but also a time to fill a void with good (or God).  For instance, if one gives up dessert – one could feasibly use the dessert money to buy dinner for the homeless lady who lives in the grocery store parking lot.  What a perfect principle by which to usher the sexy right back into our marriages.

 

Why not make a collective effort to fill the void in (or strengthen) our marriages?  Why not fast from our overbooked schedules/the TV/our own agenda and instead allocate that time to our spouse?  Take a look at your partner; rediscover why you fell in love with this magnificent creature in the first place.  Make a vow to one another (and to God if you’re a believer) to commit to 40 days of fortifying the foundation of your family.  I realize that this is unconventional, but healing and reconnection have got to start somewhere.  Why not start in the bedroom?

If you’re interested in taking part in what I am haphazardly calling “Operation: Sexy Lent”, here are ten ideas to get you started:

1. Communicate.  Get on the same page.  Break out your calendars and jointly commit to 40 days of Operation: Sexy Lent.
2. Pray (or meditate) for your marriage and for one another.  God created sex and marriage – include Him in the process.
3. Identify any divisive attitudes, annoyances and/or habits and let them go for 40 days.
4. Commit to having sex at least 4 times (or more!) a week.  Yummy.
5. Commit to at least one date per week.  (Avoid your standard date routine.  Choose a place or activity that is new and exciting.)
6. Put the kids in bed early and/or turn off the TV.  Take the remaining moments of your day to reconnect.  Even if it’s sharing a sexy dessert – take the time.
7. Ladies – slip into a g-string and heels.  Men are visual creatures.  Put away your ugly panties/PJ’s and buy yourself some thigh highs.  Better yet, have sex in those killer heels that are too painful to actually wear, but look amazing.  (I promise, a pair of hot heels is a HUGE aphrodisiac.)
8. Men – get primal.  Women love men who are confident in their masculinity and who are able to take control in the bedroom.  Always be cognizant of your partner’s comfort level, but don’t be afraid to get animalistic.
9. Create a sexual playground out of your bedroom.  Pull out a different set of sheets, put away photos of the kids, light some candles and crank up some ‘Santana’.  (Or, whatever music turns you on.)
10. Explore experimentation, encourage experimentation, act upon experimentation.

Operation: Sexy Lent begins on Wednesday, March 9^th and ends Sunday, April 24^th.  Good Luck!